Some people are mentally, horizontally, vertically challenged. I am mentality challenged. Yes, that's what I am. It's a Romanian flaw. One I'm just starting to realize and it's stepping on my nerves. The flaws I start to identify are really disturbing. I've been talking to foreigners a lot these past few days, I've got French, Polish, Russian, Egyptian, Portuguese, Turkish, German, Latvian, Lithuanian, Moldavian, Moroccan , Taiwanese, Korean, Algerian colleagues. Most of them are genuinely friendly. They trust people. In the past I thought that my problem is not trusting myself. But in fact, I've got some bigger trust issues: I can't trust anyone (except for my family and my friends, of course). At least not in the way they seem to trust me. I always assume the worse thing about people, that they are going to fail, and if they don't I have stupid jealousy/surprise feelings. I know that this comes from a life of frustration, seeing my parents encountering numerous problems with work colleagues and bosses, living with the impression that I deserve more and I'm never going to get it, living with big financial frustration. And I don't even know why, because things weren't so bad, but I think Romanians find a way to exaggerate everything in order to blame anybody else for their problems.
I'm finally realizing that I need to trust myself and others more, that I have to start thinking more positively. A lot more. Because being trustful and having a positive thinking doesn't make you any less of a realist. It just makes your life better.
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